Sunday, June 25, 2006

shelf!

yesterday, while my friends were all at the beach, I bought, assembled, and loaded a spanking new particle board bookshelf. I used to two bottom shelves for my LPs, even taking the time to separate out those which I would or should probably listen to from the streisand and streisand-esque. A one-per-every-25 streisand to everything else LP ratio is compulsory in the record collecting world. Still, the majesty of Yentl aside, the bookshelf made me happy. It was probably the best thin that happened to me all week. Sure, it was no French chick in Granada... no 5am trip across Gibraltar as a refugee...and certainly no cafe con leche, but I suppose that I have to get my simple pleasure somewhere.
Which reminds me. Hello! And welcome back to Poems Starting with And, my Europe journal turned latent aesthetic manifesto, turned other-blog. It has now been a little over three months since my shotgun movement through and from the world of jet-setting world traveller to Charlestonian workaholic. It seems like another lifetime. I have much to tell about the last three months and, despite the fact that few, if any people are listeing, I will divulge these lessons, stories, and maxims over the coming days and pages. For now, to the laundry mat.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Triangulating Schlegel


The following will examine three rather lengthy fragments of Schlegel. Somewhere within, and perhaps more importantly, in between these three aphorisms turned miniature treatises is a contradiction, a paradox, or even a beautifully orchestrated symbiosis. It is through these explications that we will attempt to see whether or not it is through faith alone that we believe Schlegel to have intended the latter, or if his short bursts of genius are, in actuality, only the tips of the proverbial icebergs of his logical system. To begin:
352. “It’s an invention of historians of nature that her creative powers labored long in vain exertions and that, after exhausting themselves in forms that could have no lasting life conceived still others that, though living, were doomed to perish because they lacked the strength to reproduce themselves. The self-creative power of mankind is still at this level. Few live, and most of those who do only have fleeting existence. If they have found their egos in a propitious moment, then they still lack the strength to procreate them out of their own selves. Death is their habitual state, and if they once come to life, they imagine themselves transported into another world."
Schlegel begins this fragment with a familiar consideration. The personified nature in the minds of the historians is weak or imperfect. These forms mentioned first that “could have no lasting life” probably are referring to inanimate objects which, though long if not everlasting, are incapable of godly things like creation (or criticism). Trying once again, the Mother Nature here creates life and the highest order thereof, humans. In doing so, once again in the mind of these historians, the gods failed again in creating a godly thing. For, as any of us who have ever tried to use a skateboard know, we are far from perfect. The assumption here is that because the gods have failed in creating a perfect thing that they are incapable of creating a perfect thing and thus imperfect themselves. This omits however, as Schlegel was no doubt aware, the idea of the limits of perspective. That is, from the perspective of an imperfect being, it is rather rash to assume anything about perfection or lack thereof in one’s creator. The being about which these historians speak is instead themselves, as Schlegel goes on to say. It is man who is incapable (at least in large part) of self-creation. That is pulling one’s ego, one’s self, apart from the primordial collective ooze and up to the higher plane of existence that is to truly be alive. And it is only the men capable of this that are capable of producing anything (art) with a life of its own, short-lived as it may be.
But Schlegel’s Will to Power rant stops short of being just that, and in another fragment we can see what at first might seem contradictory, or at least not as guns-a-blazin’.
37. "In order to write well about something one should not be interested in it anymore. To express an idea with due circumspection one must have relegated it wholly to one's past, one must no longer be preoccupied with it. As long as the artist is in a process of discovery and inspiration, he is in a state which, as far as communication is concerned, is at very least intolerant. He wants to blurt out everything, which is the fault of young geniuses or a legitimate prejudice of old buglers. And so he fails to recognize the value and the dignity of self restriction which is after all, for the artist as well as the man, the first and the last, the most necessary and highest duty. Most necessary because where one does not restrict one's self, one is restricted by the world; and that makes one a slave. The highest because one can only restrict oneself at those points and places where one possesses infinite power, self creation, and self destruction. Even a friendly conversation which cannot be freely broken off at any moment, completely arbitrarily, has something intolerant about it. But a writer who can and does talk himself out, who keeps nothing back for himself, and like to tell everything he knows, is very much to be pitied. There are only three mistakes to guard against. First: What appears to be unlimited free will, and consequently seems and should seem to be irrational or supra-rational, nonetheless must still at bottom be simply necessary and rational; otherwise the whim becomes willful, becomes intolerant, and self restriction turns into self-destruction. Second: Don’t be in too much of a hurry for self-restriction, but first give rein to self-creation, invention, and inspiration, until you’re ready. Third: Don’t exaggerate self-restriction.”
Proceeding with caution, and with much deliberation over these words, it still may seem to a reader that they are in contradiction to the aforementioned fragment. This, however, is incorrect. Schlegel is adamant that the artist, in this case a writer, restrain himself in his quest for Quality. In fact, he calls self-restriction “the most necessary and highest duty” for all men. Not only does this seem contradictory because it asks for restraint rather than unbridled doing, but also because it seems to assume that all men have something emanating from them which need be restrained, when before it was said that “few live”. But as he continues, we begin to see how these two ideas, of restraint and of fleeting propitious movement of the ego, perfectly complement each other. Guarding against the mistake of the assumed infinitely free will we have our own restraint. This restraint is powered by the very same thing which was used to command the ego into existence and action: the will. These two actions working harmoniously (and only such) produce an art of quality or a man of quality: necessary, rational, and self-creative. An absence of this harmony produces not only the lack of self creation, but actual self-destruction, something Schlegel is here to vehemently warn us against. Through giving us such direct advice it seems as if he seeks to create values system applicable and necessary to the creation not only of quality art but of quality life; these being one and the same.
355. “Pitiful, to be sure, is why the pragmatic philosophy of French and English is, though considered to be so well versed in the knowledge of what man is, despite their failure to speculate on what he should be. Every organic being has rules, its duties; and if one doesn’t know them how can one possibly understand that being? Where do they get the organizing principle of their scientific descriptions, and what standards do they use to measure man? But at least they’re just as good as those who begin and end with the concept of duty. The latter class aren’t aware that the moral man rotates around his axis freely by means of his own power. They’ve discovered the point outside the earth that only a mathematician should try to find, but they’ve lost the earth itself. In order to say what a man should do, one has to be a man, and know it too.”
Here the mention of “rules”, “standards”, and “organizing principles” show again how it is through pragmatic (ahem, German) albeit organic systems that Quality is given rise and the rest restrained. To attempt to understand what man should do is to claim that there is a something which a man should do: an action of higher value than any other action possible in a given circumstance. Schlegel challenges the French and English thinkers’ ability to measure man. For they know not against what to measure him. In the same boat to self-destruction are people who claim to know the should of to be a man, and call it simply duty. But whence this duty? In the case described in the first two fragments the duty comes from the same place to which it is owed: the self-creating ego, brought into existence and creative by means of its own will.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Questions for Jesus

If the Eastbound doves burn the flag, and the southbound hounds trample it in the mud, who’s to say which is luckier?


If the girl writes home and says that she’s the type who doesn’t go for them, and they think they just want to fuck her, who calls them all back?


Can a dump-truck take a day’s vacation?


When the door slams in the face of the man who let you down, and you still can’t get the stain out, do you yell at the stain?


Do you?


Huh?


Are your guitar strings overdue?

Sunday, March 26, 2006

You know, the only thing better than seeing a live band that really does it for you, is seeing one who sucks. And mind you, the difference of appreciation is slight.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

A Fish In An Aquarium

I’ve been wanting to pen an entry about the closing days, hours, minutos of my European excursion for quite sometime, though, between customs procedure, freedom fry saucing, automobiling, and other more general forms of not walking, my time has been somewhat limited.

The Sunday of my departure from Katherine, Spain, Europe, vacation, lightheartedness, etc etc started early. Rising at 8 in the AM for coffee and yogurt, I dashed down to the local bus station for my 10 o’clock depature. (On Sundays the trains run later in the day, the earliest Madrid arrival time not early enough for my flight). To Amsterdam.

At 7:45 I made my way past the small man who accosted me asking “are you Swedish?” with a glimour of wonder in his eye, and to whom I responded, “maybe, I’m American” and onto my flight towards Grasstown EU. A beautiful night flight over Paris had even the Parisians themselves glued to the windows.

Upon arrival, giddy as a fourteen year old school girl finding a shoebox stuffed cache of brother broken Barbie heads, I and my newly acquired accomplice Matt, a 20 year old student from the Midwest, made our way to the coffee shop -- Dyyyying for a cup!

After what seemed like three months of smoking and staring at the 24 hr EuroSport coverage on LCD flat panel I told my first five minute friends that I must take their leave, citing my preference of loneliness to fogged, dogged accompaniment.

I wandered in the Northern Euro cold, for which I was amply unprepared, for more than an hour then ducked into one of the few open bars. Beer, Beer, so then I left and I bought a slice off a streetside vender who moments before was witnessed forced to fotograph a group of disgusting Americans with ranch slathered slices held high. I, along with the Spanish pizza seller, was disgusted. So back to the airport for 6 hours of fetal position linoleum tile sleeping.

In short, Amsterdam is a great place, if you and all your friends are completely without Spirit, intellect, class, or anything more on their minds than herbs.

Look for more postings in the near future as my adventuring has not ended yet and likely never will. I now live in downtown Charleston, South Carolina and I’m sure to have some interesting experiences. If not, I can always spin them into abstruse yarns, referencing spontaneously created flash fiction outlines.

Whoever you people are, maintain that anonymity --It’s all you’ve got!!!!

Friday, March 10, 2006

Guest Book

If you have yet to make a single comment, devouring my prose like a cloaked coldwar rogue would a munich bus schedule, make one now. Tell me what you have enjoyed, loathed. Or simply use the space for your own pretentious rant, unrelated with my topic. Just put your name cowards.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

If {impasse} Then Push{ingles} Capiche?

Last night at around 1130 pm I rolled into Madrid after a long sleepless trainride. Snoring assholes have been the bain of my exsistance for the past few weeks and this train, while mostly empty, contained just enough of these to make them unavoidable, even upon switiching coches.
Well known to and reccommended by most any and all travelers in Spain in Cat´s Hostel in Madrid. So, a short hike from the Atocha train station brought me there. (I say I´m backpacking Europe, though I´ve had to make special effort to actually walk long distances with the thing on my back. At first I was taking cabs do to my unfamliarity with the areas. Now I just take off walking towards the lights and honking cars.) The place is great, more like a night club or bar with beds upstairs. Tons of Americans sure, but also everyone else. After checking in and throwing my stuf in my dorm I made my way down to the bar which was dark, crowded, and serving up liter cups of beer for 2 euros 50. Kids everywhere, spilling out into the street, a regular Spanish Wednesday night. I made friends with a group: a student from Chile studying economics and two German solo travellers. After typical conversation....the weakness of the dollar versus the fate of the Euro, German philosophy and its creation of an enlightened if unhappy people and so forth....we made our was down to the basement -the internet room slash nightclub looking area. as we four gentlement tired of each other slightly, and one of the german´s libido kicked up, he crossed the room and asked two birds in the corner to join us. Now these guys are all students here, only one speaking Spanish fluently, the others a sort of slow textbook castillano that I can actually understand. So as the girls walked over we all looked at each other and took a quick worried survey of the linguistic abilities between us, figuring them to be native spanish speakers. Nay, .....Italian birds. Born and raised in Florence. I couldn´t get over their nationality much the same as they couldnt get over mine, though my fascination was returned with disdain. I´m used to this by now. The Chilean bloke struck up a conversation with one of the birds though she spoke less Spanish than Italian or even English. He´s a smart dude, so that helped, but what´s more is how similar Italian and Spanish are. He would speak his native tounge and she hers and they rolled through what was to me a Romantic Recitative from an abscure Florentein opera, to them...small talk. But the really interesting point, the thing which my German national, English conversing comrade of the evening told me to expect, the entire reason for this story, is that when the two Romance speakers arrive at an impasse -the ommission or addition of a terminal vowell usually- it was always quickly, mechanically resolved with -you guessed it- English. The language of finance, engineering, and computer programming......"alright...what´s the noun....whats the verb....ok got it".....but not a language of love. English has great use all over the world for this purpose, which is kindof cool, but its sort of like using sissors to complete a puzzle instead of sense, trial, and corrected error. So guys...the odds are stacked quite against you with European broads. Sorry.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Rift

It’s true, you really never slash always are alone in this world. After leaving Sevilla to escape my three frat roommates I now find myself in a four person dorm at a hostal with three other solo travelers. All of them also talk similarly to each other and different from me; they are all Japanese. Obviously, I consider this a huge step up from my previous situation but it is still a shame that I feel the need to apologize for or run from my Americanism. It’s not that people ask for apology, but if I myself am dodging Americans left and right, pretending to be French in more than one instance to avoid sorority girls and the like, how can I expect the world likes these people. I think that the states are full of competent, intelligent, worldly folks –I’ve made my friends out of them- but it certainly seems like many of our worst examples are roving the streets of Europe looking for their next fix. Sadly, I find it tough to differentiate myself, in action as well as the way I am perceived. I am one, no matter what I do. In fact, the worst example of Americans I’ve seen are those who try so hard to deny there nationality, going to far as to develop this disgusting euro-world accent that sounds like a mix between French, Cockney, and a slight case of Cerebral Palsy. Faceless, cultural nomads in a series of lands in which everyone’s nationality is strong, they are truly lost. Believe it or not, this is what America is lacking. I don’t mean to say that we need to buy more novelty flags –that’s more supportive of Chinese industry anyhow. There is something missing, something beyond, or perhaps before politics. The French and the Spaniards know this. Forget the government for ten minutes a day and think about your country. The dirt, the air, the trees, the rivers, the trees, the food, the cities, the trees, hell –the people. After a while I think we will all be able to find common ground on one or two things. Who cares what G____ B____ does? The baker bakes the bread, the druggist sells the drugs, the cars go round and round and we all have a party on Friday night! It’s the people (sprung from and shaped by the land) that matter, the government is only a very, very small group of people, and all that concrete and red carpet they stand on has severed their ties with the dirt. This is internationally universal. So, stupid antiwar hippies, get a hobby; compared to what you consider a decent lifestyle, no president, representative, or minister will ever been pleasing…so why think about it? I thought you guys were all about love and crap? Fervent pro war southern accent faking Carhartted fratters, …… I dunno….take a long walk by yourself maybe. Regardless life is way to short for a lot of the crap we Americans take so seriously for no reason other than boredom ……the surest sign of a lack of creativity, which can be cultivated!!

I’m not here to blast Americans because I’ve achieved some new wave euro view or something. In fact, everyday I think of more and more reasons why the states are awesome. But there is a serious divide between us and the rest of the world……but it’s nothing a slowly sipped espresso and milk over light, non-political small talk can’t fix.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Shredddddd!!!!!

After a good nights sleep interrupted only for a few hours by the group of awful drunken America fratters with which I shared a room I decided at the drop of a hat (such luxury is afforded only to us hapless solo wanderers) to board a train to Granada, a place fervently recommended by any and all with which I’ve spoken. To the east and in the mountains it promises to be a much more attractive lay of land than bland sniffles ridden Sevilla. I’m still reeling from my car rental trip to the south and had thought I might spend more time in Sevilla to recover, but my time here is somehow already running short and I don’t feel that I’ve done nearly enough traveling. Sevilla is a great place to meet people that speak English and want to drink and ruin themselves everynight, then talk it over the next waking afternoon -mere hours from a repeat. Sound familiar?

But I don’t want to sound like I have nothing good to say about the city or the people whom I’ve met. Like them or not, you meet people in need of a beer or a meal at the same time and you go together, chat, make friends even, then go your separate ways. Some people I’ve met, -self proclaimed “professional backpackers”- have been traveling in excess of one or even two years. Sasha, an American with such a track record and with whom I dined last night spoke of a worry that her skin had become too tough to goodbyes, a necessity I suppose for the cultural nomad.

My Spanish has gotten pretty good actually. Not conversational really, especially considering the speed with which they (or any of us for that matter) rattle off familiarisms. Still, I have no trouble ordering food, knowing what I’m ordering, asking directions and other common tasks. I’ve even gotten past the backjerked head response to my awful pronunciation that plagued me upon arrival. I’m even at times mistaken for a better speaker than I am. I nod and smile often.

Now I’m pulling into the Granada station in mere minutes and I can see the snow-capped mountains to the south. Perhaps some snow skiing is a possibility. The beach, I discovered in the south, is not.

Thanks for reading folks, more jokes next time. Perhaps more in the direction of Dan Brown and his ferociously pseudo-mystery devouring ever obedient flock.

Addendum:

The above was of course written on the train during my approach. Now I am in Granada and I am in love with this city. Now I’m not so afraid to say it….Sevilla sucks.

A lesson in patience: I mentioned in a previous blog that patience was I virtue that I was quickly learning on my journeys, well a good example manifested itself today. I’ve been itching to play guitar…I’ve gone in and out of a few shops…played some guits….dragged myself away. I had a piece of shit guitar in my hand in Morocco that I’m now quite glad the dude didn’t take my asshole lowball offer for. Today, after checking into the coolest hostal I’ve yet stayed in….and the cheapest, I went for a walk. Not but two doors down from me was a music store….not a music store…a guitar store….not a guitar store…..a luthier’s shop with guitars handmade by him. I now have a sweet guitar/another bag to carry. Tomorrow I will hit the street corners armed with a few Shins, Dead, and Dylan ballads to try to pay for the thing. I am happy.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Gibraltar Jump

Whew, I thought I might never see decent internet again. In the deeper and coastal south of Spain where I’ve been for the past four days there is an internet “café” on every corner: a room with three or four sooped-up Coleco-Visions and as many VOIP babbling locals. If you’re lucky, which you almost certainly won’t be, one of the machines will be available and you can navigate its lent twisted, grease covered mouse towards an email check.

My new friend, and already merely a memory Piers and I rented a car and drove to the south and to Cadiz just in time for Thursday night Carnival. Cadiz is a great city, possibly my favourite in Espana so far. All the locals and plenty of travelers crowd to the center of town where different fixed and roving groups of entertainers draw attentive crowds with silly, light-hearted song and dance routines. We met some dudes from Holland, drank some booze, roamed the safe, forgiving streets of Cadiz until the early morning, when we went to a bar. Just before sunrise we hit the sack in an awesome hostal that’s basically small apartments complete with bedrooms, kitchen, and living room, all for fifty euros. Really would be a great place for a future holiday with some friends.

In the morning, after Piers surfed a bit and I read on the beach we headed further south through a few even smaller towns, surfers paradise really, though the cold and lack of gear kept me, and even Piers for the most part, out of the water. Eventually we hit Tarifa, a beautiful town on the very south-western end of Spain, directly opposite Africa and Tangier, and followed along to coast afterwards to Algeciras a wretched port town opposite the bay from Gibraltar –the rock/British province. Upon arrival and dusk (now is a good time to point out that the first line about Algeciras in my guide book says to “keep your wits about you”….why wouldn’t I? When don’t I? Why so especially here? Thanks for nothing once more Lonely Planet) we took lodging in the first building we could find that wasn’t part of the port infrastructure or one of the aforementioned cafes: The Hostal Marrakech, known for its opium den living room and fundamentalist dressed Muslim crew. They did not like us, this much was clear, but all we needed was a bed and an ice cold shower, both of which the Hostal Marrakech was prepared to provide.

The next morning we bought tickets for a crossing to Morocco, drove back up the coast to Tarifa, and boarded a twin hulled speed ship for a beautiful 30 minute crossing to Tangier, my 5th country and 3rd continent. Yeah, it’s a bit freaky. Yeah, everyone does look at you, especially when you’re a six foot three blonde Yankee. But for the most part I’m here to tell you that the Moroccans are wonderful people. Most anyone with which I made eye contact shouted “Hel-lo…..Wel-come” with a smile. We ate traditional Morrocan food and bought as little cheap tourist shit as they would let us get away without. The real fun came when returned to the port for our return ship to Spain which was cancelled do to inclement weather and a would-be three boat loads of commuters were forced onto one boat which took us to Ageciras over the course of three hours. I stood on the top of the ship and watched the lights of Africa fade away and of Spain grow brighter while the rest slept in the ship, it looked like Jonestown inside, I alone on top felt like a giddy child.

Following a complimentary bus ride back to Tarifa we were able to take lodgings at about five this morning. The beautiful ride up the coats brought us back to Sevilla, my sort of operations base. Piers and I parted, and I’m once again on my own, though I’m back at the hostal where we met and am covered up once again in people with which to talk, spin yarns.

I’m tired, very tired, and this is a boring blog, unable even with full rest and enthusiasm to do reality justice. Go to Morocco. Couscous. Yum.

Concerned about culture shock upon my return. Why don’t we have trains?

DOWN WITH ROADSIDE BILLBOARDS FOR GODSSAKE!